The Lover After Me
by Serenity Turner
Summary: Chapter 1: GHP were dating for 6 yrs and broke up. Now he's engaged to Hermione. Chapter 2: CAUTION: Selfmutilation. Don't read if it bothers you. I think it's pretty dang good.
1. The Lover After Me

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry, Hermione, Ginny, or any of the other authentic HP characters that I have used in this. Nor do I own the song "The Lover After Me", which belongs to the band Savage Garden. So you can't sue me.**

**This songfic takes place when Harry and Hermione are twenty-three and Ginny is twenty-two. Harry and Ginny, who got back together after Harry destroyed the Dark Lord at age seventeen (remember that in the sixth book they split up at the end because Harry didn't want to put her in danger), broke up seven months before this. A month after they split, Harry and Hermione started seeing each other and believe that it was meant to be all along. This is Ginny's view as Harry and Hermione are dating. Enjoy!**

Chapter One The Lover After Me Song by: Savage Garden 

Ginny sat on the floor of her brand new apartment, boxes piled up all around her, knees pulled up to her chest. 'I gotta start unpacking,' she thought, but she couldn't move. Couldn't stop thinking about…him.

Here I go again I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today  
It's been seven months and counting  
You've moved on  
I still feel exactly the same

She was staring at the ceiling, determinedly not picturing him and her. Small flashbacks of her time with him brought tears, along with a small smile, to her face. 'What am I thinking?' she thought, shaking her head as though that would get rid of the memories. 'That's over now. Things change, and I can't change them back.' She stood up, wiped her tears, and looked around helplessly. 'I just need to go for a walk. Yes, that'll keep my mind off him.'

She locked the door behind her and started walking up the snow-laden streets of London. She stopped at a corner to cross the street and her eyes fell upon the Leaky Cauldron. She could see his reflection wavering in the dusty window, and shook her head once more. The reflection disappeared.

_It's just that everywhere I go all the buildings know your name  
Like photographs and memories of love  
Steel and granite reminders  
The city calls your name and I can't move on_

Ginny traced the spot where she saw the reflection before pushing open the door to the pub. She sat down at a two-person table and laid her head on her crossed arms on the tabletop. David, Tom's son, who had taken over the bar-keeping when his father became terminally ill, came over and sat next to her, drying a mug with his apron. She gave him a small smile before accepting some firewhisky. He went to get some and the door opened, letting two people in. It was them, and Ginny pulled down the lip of her hat so they wouldn't recognize her. They sat down a couple tables away, laughing like there was no one else in the world. David came back with the firewhisky and glanced piteously at Ginny when her recognized Harry and Hermione. He went up to them and took orders, continually glancing back at Ginny. Neither Harry nor Hermione noticed; they carried on talking in hushed, happy tones, laughing occasionally.

_Ever since you've been gone  
The lights go out the same  
The only difference is  
You call another name  
To your love  
To your lover now  
To your love  
The lover after me_

Ginny drained the rest of her firewhisky and got up to leave. Hermione just happened to look in her direction as she stood, recognizing her immediately.

"Ginny!" she exclaimed. "Why didn't you come over and sit with us? Come on over!" How could she refuse? She and Hermione were still considered friends, so what was she to do?

"Thanks, Hermione, but I really have to get home and start unpacking; I've put it off too long already…" Ginny began, but Hermione cut in.

"Oh, come on, just one moment!" Hermione insisted. "Harry and I were just debating what color dresses we should get."

"Dresses?" Ginny questioned, unknowingly. Hermione looked at her incredulously.

"You don't know? But I thought Ron told you!" Ginny just looked at her, a blank expression on her face.

"Harry and I are getting married in six months!" Hermione looked at her expectantly, a broad smile on her face, waiting for a reaction. She didn't know what Ginny really felt. She didn't know how much all this hurt her, and if she did she would have certainly been more sensitive on the subject. She, however, didn't know; she thought that Ginny had gotten over Harry a long time ago, and that she was totally cool. Ginny wanted it to stay like that. She didn't want them to know that she wasn't happy for them, that _she_ wanted to be the one in the wedding gown on that day.

"That- That's great news!" Ginny said with forced enthusiasm. "A bit quick, but- but definitely great news!" Hermione searched her face, as if checking to see if she was really alright with everything that had been going on. Ginny forced a bright smile onto her face, but it was good enough for Hermione.

"Yes! Great! Ok, now I thought some sort of red would be nice, you'll be my Maid of Honor, of course, but Harry thinks we should do soft gold. Now I told him that I didn't want it to be like Fleur and Bill's wedding, but…." Ginny sort of tuned her out. It was Harry's voice that brought her back with a jolt.

"I don't want her to be a bridesmaid." Hermione looked at him with shock on her face, and Ginny did not look at him at all.

"What?" Hermione asked. "But we talked all about who were to be ushers, groomsmen, et cetera. We agreed…"

"I don't want her to be a bridesmaid," he said softly, "I want her to sing." The two women were quiet, and Ginny actually looked at him for the first time since they broke up. "She has the most amazing voice." And he said no more.

"Alright," Hermione commented after a while. "The bridesmaids can wear something other than red then, if you'd like. Just not soft gold. We'll find Ginny a beautiful gold dress to wear." And that was that. Ginny gave them a half-smile before standing up and giving them an awkward wave. She hurried out of the pub and toward home.

_Am I all alone in the universe?  
There's no love on these streets  
I have given mine away to a world  
That didn't want it anyway_

She got home to realize that she was supposed to be meeting up with the family at the Burrow. It was 7:30 pm and she was supposed to be there a half an hour ago. Cursing to herself she apparated home.

_So this is my new freedom  
It's funny  
I don't remember being chained  
But nothing seems to make sense anymore  
Without you I'm always twenty minutes late_

She appeared at her parents' front door, head bowed. The door opened, letting out streams of light. She looked up to see her elder brother, Ron, standing in the doorway. Her tearstained face told him all he needed to know, and he pulled her to him, holding her tightly. Leading her into the kitchen, he sat her down in front of a bowl of soup. Fred and George, after seeing her, looked at each other, 'Oops' spelled across their faces. Before she could start in on her soup George whisked it away.

"Sorry, this one's cold," he said briskly. Ginny could see that it was steaming. He set another bowl in front of her. She had a sneaking suspicion that it was the same bowl, just with some unwanted things removed. After all, her brothers were the owners of Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes joke shop. Around ten she asked her mum if she could spend the night.

"Of course!" Mrs. Weasley had exclaimed. "This is still your home, dear!"

Ginny spent the night in her old bedroom. Tucked under her old comforter, she looked out of the window. So many memories…games of Quidditch out on the lawn, watching fireworks as they lay on their backs on the cool grass, using his stomach as a pillow… She grabbed her wand from the bedside table and extinguished the candle's on the windowsill. She had almost hoped that this would help, that by getting rid of the light she could start over, that she could forget him. Sure, what they had had was beautiful, but forgetting would be so much easier…much less painful…

_Ever since you've been gone  
The lights go out the same  
The only difference is  
You call another name  
To your love  
To your lover now  
To your love  
The lover after me_

She pulled the covers up to her chin. She forgot how cold it was up there…

And time goes by so slowly  
The nights are cold and lonely  
I shouldn't be holding on  
But I'm still holding on for you

As her eyes began to close, she prayed that when she woke up it would all be gone. Sometimes is just isn't that easy.

**Well? Whaddaya think? R&R, if you don't like it don't be afraid to say so! If I get enough reviews I'll go another chapter!**


	2. You Can Still Be Free

**Disclaimer: Can be found in the first chapter.**

**I only got two reviews but I'll write another chapter anyway.**

**Caution: Suicidal thoughts and descriptions. Do not continue if this bothers you.**

**Chapter Two**

**You Can Still Be Free**

**Song By: Savage Garden**

Ginny woke up in her parents' house, confused. How did she get here? Memories from the night before came flooding back and she sullenly got out of bed. Ron burst into the room, like he used to when they were young. He was carrying a tray, complete with her mum's famous pancakes.

"Thanks, Ron," Ginny said, taking the tray as he sat next to her on the bed. They were silent for a moment. Then…

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Ron said quietly. "I didn't want to hurt you. I know you still love him."

"I love you, Ron," she said abruptly. He looked at her, surprised. "I've never really told you that before. But I do. And I will until the day I die, and even after that! I…" Her voice was now frantic.

"Ginny!" Ron grabbed her tightly and she fell limp in his embrace. "I love you, too, Gin," he whispered.

It was late afternoon, and Ron was watching Ginny stroll around from his old bedroom window. She sat down in the middle of the lawn and looked up at the clouds, like she used to do with Harry.

_Cool breeze and autumn leaves  
Slow motion daylight  
A lone pair of watchful eyes  
Oversee the living_

There was a pain, an ache, somewhere deep in her. She could feel her heart thumping weakly in her chest cavity. She felt old and withered, even though she knew that she had hardly lived at all.

_Feel the presence all around  
A tortured soul  
A wound unhealing  
No regrets or promises  
The past is gone_

_But you can still be free  
If time will set you free_

There was one thing she could do… It would certainly free her from herself. She felt like she locked herself up and gave Harry the key, just to have him throw it away. The way she saw it, there was only one way to let go. She had already wasted so much time on him, but if she set herself free…

_Time now to spread your wings  
To take to flight  
The life endeavor  
Aim for the burning sun  
You're trapped inside_

_But you can still be free  
If time will set you free_

She ran into the kitchen, grabbed one of her mother's steak knives, and ran back out the door. She ran up the hill, through the trees, to the shed where they used to keep their broomsticks when they were young. Breathing heavily she shut the door and locked it. The pain was even sharper now; she could barely breath at all. It was beautiful, really, to see the thin lines comprised of beads of blood running up and down her arms. Circles, hearts, and yin-yangs covered her arms within minutes. After a moment of thought she pulled up her skirt to reveal her slender, tan thigh. She pressed on her inner thigh with the knife, lightly carving a bloody message.

Ron watched as Ginny ran in and out of the house, before dashing towards their old broom shed. Sighing, he followed her. He felt that she was his responsibility, even though she was twenty-two already. His biggest fear was that she would do something incredibly stupid and not live to regret it.

_But it's a long, long way to go_

Her message was complete. One last thing to do… She pressed the serrated blade against the sensitive skin of her wrist, deeper still. The blood began to rush, and a voice called out to her from outside the shed.

"Ginny? What are you doing? Ginny?" Ron was pounding on the door. The last thing she saw was a flash of light as Ron broke down the door. Then everything went black.

"Ginny? Ginny!" Ron ran forward and lifted her head onto his lap. She didn't stir. "Ginny! Oh god, why'd you let her DO THIS?" He noticed the message carved on her leg and lifted her skirt a bit so he could read it. "'Harry, I gave my heart to you; I locked it up and gave you the key. But you threw it away, and now I'm setting myself free.' Oh my god." Ron saw that her chest was rising and falling, very weak, but moving nonetheless. He held onto her tightly and apparated.

_Keep moving way up high  
You see the light  
It shines forever  
Sail through the crimson skies  
The purest light_

She was flying; it felt more like floating, actually. Clouds drifted by meaninglessly as she ascended towards a bright light.

_The light that sets you free  
If time will set you free_

All of a sudden she was thrust around and began freefalling back to the earth. As she became as low as the clouds she could feel raindrops hitting her face but it remained dry. She was right above what she recognized to be and covered her face with her arms, preparing for impact, but she fell right through. All of a sudden, she stopped. She was hovering above her own body, cold and lifeless. Harry and Ron were sitting next to her, tears in their eyes. Wait; _tears_?

_Sail through the wind and rain tonight  
You're free to fly tonight_

BAM! She entered her body, and the minute they made contact she gasped for air. Ron and Harry looked up from their conversation.

"Ginny?" Ron voiced uncertainly. "Alright there?" She nodded slowly and he flung himself at her. "Ginny, how could you do that? How could you –" he was choked up, and his face was tear-stained. He clutched her as though he'd never again let go. Ginny had never before seen this side of him. Harry stood up and Ron stepped aside.

"Ginny?" he said quietly. "I-I'm sorry." He lifted his head, his brilliant green eyes searching her hazel ones. "Ginny, Hermone and I split last night. After we got home from the Leaky Cauldron I felt an emptiness; one that I had always felt but not acknowledged until then. I missed you."

"B-But," Ginny stuttered weakly, "what about Hermione? W-why, how –"

"I realized last night that I didn't really believe that it was meant to be. I wanted to believe it, but that would be living a lie. I love Hermione, but not in the way that I thought I did. I love you, Ginny, and I'm sorry I hurt you. I just beg that you give me another chance." He looked at her, eyes pleading. She nodded slowly, and Harry gently kissed her. Ginny had forgotten what it was like, and she did not realize until now how much she missed it.

_And you can still be free_

'I _am _free,' she thought._  
If time will set you free_

'It has.'

_And going higher than mountaintops  
And go high the wind can't stop  
And go high_

'I've been up here this whole time; I'd just forgotten it.'

Free to fly tonight  
Free to fly tonight


	3. Truly, Madly, Deeply

**Disclaimer: It's in the first chapter, but for those of you who are too lazy to go ALL THE WAY to the first one, I DON'T OWN HP OR THIS SONG. JUST THIS PLOT. You can't sue me! NA NA NANA NA!**

**Chapter Three**

**Truly Madly Deeply**

**Song: By Savage Garden**

Harry woke up at about five o'clock in a very uncomfortable chair in what he recognized as a muggle hospital room. 'How did I get here?' he strained to remember as he looked around. His eyes fell on his arm and trailed up to the pale, slender hand of Ginny, who had fallen asleep with her hand in his. The previous night's events came flooding back to him, and he smiled as he looked down at her serene, semi-conscious self.

_I'll be your dream  
I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy  
I'll be your hope, I'll be your love  
Be everything that you need…_

She was stirring… She sat up and rubbed her eyes with her one free hand. She looked at him and smiled back. He could see all of the love in her eyes. What he couldn't see was her doubt.

_I'll love you more with every breath  
Truly madly deeply do  
I will be strong, I will be faithful  
'Cause we're counting on_

_A new beginning  
A reason for living  
A deeper meaning (yeah)_

"Morning, beautiful," he said softly. "How'd you sleep?"

"Much better, knowing that you were here." This wasn't exactly the response she had been meaning to give, but, hey, it worked. She looked out the window to notice that it was still dark out. "What time is it?" she asked through a stifled yawn.

"It's quarter after five." He was looking at her with so much emotion and love in his eyes, and she hoped that this time he meant it. She looked down at herself, to the bloodstains on her inner thigh.

"They must have missed those ones," Harry said, inspecting the stains. "We'd better get you get cleaned up." Ginny tried to stand up but the room seemed to spin around her. She fell backwards, clutching her head. Harry worriedly hurried to support her. She fell against him just as her nurse, a large black woman with soft features, was walking into the room.

"Oh, honey!" the nurse said, rushing over. "You can't just get up like that! You're hooked up to all kinds of machines." Ginny looked around to realize for the first time that she had two tubes attached to her, each with a bag at the other end. One was sending a clear liquid into her body and the other, something red. The one with red liquid was marked 'A positive.' She also had a beeping machine attached to her finger with a skinny wire. She looked at Harry with a confused and scared look on her face.

"What are those? Why are those things sticking into my body? Why?"

"Calm down, it's all right!" Harry told her. He turned to the nurse who looked even more confused than Ginny. "She, er, she's never been to a hospital before," he explained. "She doesn't really, er, get out often."

"Ohhh," the nurse mouthed. Softly she added, "I'll let you explain things to her, shall I? I can wait a few minutes before giving her this." She gave Harry a quick peek of the needle she was holding before she left.

Harry looked at Ginny, surprised to see that she was beautiful, even in such a state. The contrast between her pale face and flaming red hair was stunning, and it made her lips seem even redder. He couldn't help but think about what his future life would be like with her, and all the things he _wanted_ to do with her in the future…

_I want to stand with you on a mountain  
I want to bathe with you in the sea  
I wanna lay like this forever  
Until the sky falls down on me_

"Harry? My face is up here…" Harry blushed as he looked back up at her face. Confident that she had regained his attention she continued. "Okay, what are all these things?"

"You're in a muggle hospital," Harry started.

"Well, duh!" Ginny looked at him with a look like 'What am I, like two or something!"

"The tube with clear stuff is an IV; medicine. The red stuff is blood." Ginny went, if possible, even more pale.

"Who's?"

"Dunno," Harry responded. "Muggles give blood for people who get into accidents or lose a lot of blood. This replaces all the blood you've lost." Ginny looked disgusted.

"That's disgusting. And why'd you bring me to a muggle hospital? St Mungo's just didn't 'do it' for you?" She looked angry.

"No," Harry said curtly. "The last thing I want to see when I open up the Daily Prophet is the headline: _Famed Harry Potter's Ex-Girlfriend Attempts Suicide! Is He The Reason?_ This way we are not drawing any negative attention towards you, or me. No one knows but you, me, Hermione, and your family." Ginny was looking at her feet. "Hey," he said in a softer tone. He lifted her chin up and pulled her into a tight embrace. "I'd do anything to keep you safe. From danger…from Voldemort…from the tabloids…" She laughed at this. He pulled back so he could see her face. "Now, I'm going to go and get a washcloth so you can clean yourself up a bit. Meanwhile," he helped her back into bed, "I want you to wait right here for me. Can you do that?" She nodded and he kissed her on the forehead before he left.

She lay back down and turned her head to the window. Last night she had asked Harry to keep the curtains open, and now she could see the stars sparkling way up in the heavens. She was happy to have him back, but she was also afraid. She had lost him once, and she wasn't so sure if she could do it again. She couldn't even do it the _first_ time. 'Please,' she thought, almost in a prayer, 'I don't want to lose him again. I love him so much. I know I should to trust him, but it's not that easy; I'm just so scared. I just want to know…'

_And when the stars are shining  
Brightly in the velvet sky  
I'll make a wish send it to heaven  
And make you want cry._

'Send me a sign…'

"Ginny?" Harry walked over with a damp washcloth in his hand. She took it from him and attempted to wash herself with it, but was fumbling. "Here," he said, taking the cloth back. He helped to prop her up and he lightly rubbed it on her leg, first softly and gradually harder, looking at her face for signs of discomfort. When she grimaced he applied a little less force, and rubbed the rest of the dried blood off of her leg. "There," he said with finality.

"Are you two ready?" the nurse asked, poking her head around the corner. Harry nodded, and she walked in, one hand behind her back. Ginny looked curious.

"What's that?" she inquired.

"Oh, just some medicine. Now I'm going to have to ask you to lie flat on your back. That's perfect, dear. Now this may hurt at first," the nurse continued as she wiped a spot on Ginny's arm with a sanitary wipe, "but don't worry. It might be a little scary as well, especially if you've never had one before." She pulled out the needle and jabbed it into Ginny's arm with extreme precision. Ginny went pale once again.

"I don't…like…needles," she said, eyebrows furrowed in fear. The nurse quickly ejected the medicine into her body and pulled it out. She grabbed a flesh-colored bandage and stuck it over the wound.

"There you are, my dear. You'll feel a little drowsy, so you may want to take a nap. In three hours, you are free to go. Just sign out with the nurse on this floor." She marked something on the clipboard that hung next to the door and left.

Ginny woke up four and a half hours later.

"You looked so peaceful that I didn't want to wake you," Harry explained, "But we can go home now."

Ginny, now tube- and wire-free, stood up. When she didn't fall over due to disorientation she leapt at Harry and wrapped her arms around him, taking in his scent like she used to when they were young. When they broke apart her eyes were bloodshot, and tears were running down her face.

_The tears of joy for all the pleasure and the certainty. _

_That we're surrounded by the comfort and protection of_

_The highest powers  
In lonely hours  
The tears devour you_

"I love you," Harry told her, meaning every word of it.

"I love you, too." Harry once again did not notice her uncertainty.

Harry led her out to his car. Ten minutes later she was watching the scenery whip past. She closed her eyes as she began to think about the past and how things used to be.

Flashback

"Gotcha!"

"Ron, get back here! I'm going to get you for that!"

"You'll have to get through me first, pretty lady!" An eighteen-year-old Harry Potter stepped in the way of his seventeen year old girlfriend. She made an unsuccessful attempt to bust past him, but to no avail; he wrapped his arms around her waist, restraining her as she lunged at her brother. Red-faced and grinning, she spun around to look at him.

"Whatcha hold me back for?" she demanded playfully. She struggled and he kissed her hard. When they broke apart Ron was standing with his face right next to hers.

"Oh, good," he sighed in mock relief. "For a second there I was afraid you swallowed her tongue, Harry!"

"Ronald!" Ginny squealed, and she pounced on him, causing an unsuspecting Harry to fall over sideways.

"Come on now," said George, with 'business' written all over his face. "Stop playing, kids; are we going to let off these off or not?" Ginny plopped ungracefully onto the inviting patch of grass next to Harry. Fred and Ron plopped down on either side of the couple, and George stood in front of them, wand at the ready. "Right. And now the most amazing display of fireworks available on the market: Weasleys' Fire Busters!" He flicked his wand at one that was propped up on a concrete slab. As Ginny and Harry were lying there, the same thought crept into both of their heads; they never wanted to move.

_I want to stand with you on a mountain  
I want to bathe with you in the sea  
I wanna lay like this forever  
Until the sky falls down on me_

End of Flashback

"Ginny?" She turned to him, to look into those brilliant, green eyes.

_Oh can you see it baby?  
You don't have to close your eyes  
'Cause I'm standing right before you  
All that you need will surely come_

They got to her apartment, and they just sat there for a second.

"Thank you," Ginny whispered, and she opened the door. Harry kissed her on the cheek.

"I love you."

This time she did not respond; she smiled mechanically and got out, closing the door gently behind her. Harry watched her as she slowly climbed the steps and slid her card. She turned around to give him one final smile and wave before disappearing into the house.

_I'll be your dream  
I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy  
I'll be your hope, I'll be your love  
Be everything that you need_

Harry sat there for a full ten minutes, thinking. Finally, he turned the key in the ignition and put the car into reverse.

_I love you more with every breath  
Truly madly deeply do_

Suddenly, the front door flew open. "Harry!" It was Ginny, and she ran down the steps and towards the car, stopping only to use it for support.

"Ginny, what are you doing? You shouldn't be running; you just got out of the hospital!" He was silenced by a long, hard kiss. They broke apart, gasping for breath.

"Harry James Potter, I love you with all that is in me. I always have, and always will. You know what I say to those people that say that schoolgirl crushes hold no meaning? Bullshit." She kissed him again, this time a little gentler.

_I want to stand with you on a mountain  
I want to bathe with you in the sea  
I wanna lay like this forever  
Until the sky falls down on me_

"I know, Ginny. I love you, too."

_I want to stand with you on a mountain  
I want to bathe with you in the sea  
I wanna lay like this forever  
Until the sky falls down on me_

As she entered her apartment earlier she had realized something, and she knew that everything would be okay. She went along with not only her heart but her woman instincts as well, and this time she knew that this time he was there for good. She loved Harry Potter, and, as she pulled him into her apartment, she had every intention of showing him how much.

**Soooooo, what do you think of that? Review, please; I don't know what you guys like/don't like/want/don't want if you don't REVIEW! So, please do so!**


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